Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The pack up and the smack down

My house is in boxes. Not exactly the greatest setting to try and concentrate to write a sermon. Especially my first sermon in Waldron. Today I've put a lot of effort into sermon writing. I've put together a few loose thoughts on the lectionary readings for June 19. Matt. 10: 24-39 and Romans 6: 1-11. IT's between those two, I know it. Anyway, after I struggled to find something coherant and inspired, I read thru some of the commentaries, etc. on The Text this Week : a helpful tool. Of course, then I read a sermon that was completely perfect, and it made my ambling thoughts seem all the more pitifully uninspired. Braxton's speech was streamlined, convincing, articulate, and hooking. It was constructed around one theme, while my roundabout way of getting to the point usually creates several points--something I think may be good for certain circumstances, but not for my first Sunday in a new congregation where I don't want to be perceived as a windbag. All my preaching profs lauded the great skill of conciseness. I'm not trying to give the church my entire seminary education in one sermon, but to tell you the truth, I don't know what to write about this text right now, and I need something on paper! Comparing the two sermon ideas was like comparing a Corvette to a boxcar.
So my idea was, to put this little frustration on the shelf and let it cool for a while. Welcome to my shelf. Getting it out of my mind and onto the magic superhighway of the cyberworld, I thought maybe the worry would take the wrong exit and wind up far away from here. Also, oddly enough I don't feel much pressure to have anything really coherant on the blog, and the process of writing I thought might spark something. If it did, it has yet to light up in front of my face. Perhaps I'm just too tired. IF you have any suggestions or inspirations about bringing not peace but the sword, or the Romans text, give me a shout.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Eyes rolling

I have such an inquisitive little boy. Lately, I've been fortunate enough to have cared for him during the day while his mom is at work. One thing that is funny about his demeanor is that he really fights going to sleep sometimes. He is perfectly happy sitting in the crook of my arm face outwards so he can look at the world, but if you put him in the stroller when there is something to be observing--he'll let you know about it. Just now he was trying not to fall asleep after eating a bottle. He closed his eyes to little slits, but kept them open. Then slowly his eyes drooped back in the back of his head. Pretty freaky. Now he's finally conked, but he didn't go without a fight!

One thing I've noticed is that women I encounter don't seem to give me much credit for fatherhood. I know new parents get comments all the time, but no one has said anything to Lara, and I've gotten quite a few people telling me what to do. The check out woman at the grocery was incredulous that Wes didn't have socks on. "You need to get some socks on that boy! [Wesley peeps] See, He's saying, 'You should know better than that dad!'" If you were imagining a jovial, friendly tone--you got it wrong. She was dressing me down right there as she scanned the food I was buying. I just rolled my eyes at her and sighed. I won't offend my female readers by posing the question of "reverse sexism," but instead offer a piece of advice for my own. Ladies, don't treat men who are caring for their children like bumbling idiots who must just be out for an occasional stroll with their kid--you could be offering advice to a person like me who has been caring for their child full time, and it is a little demeaning.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Intelligent Film interpretations

Now if only I had the time to watch some movies!


Online Labyrinth with some good meditations

If you click "Do it" You'll be taken to an online labyrinth that is actually really cool. enjoy

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

One to save face

At the behest of some of my blogger buddies, who've disappointedly checked my blog over the past month to find something new--here's a shot. I'll try to muster up something....Well, perhaps this little entry could be about the challenge of finding some energy to write something worth reading, and not just some kind of diary entry. (I don't do diaries either, so what makes me think I'd be a good blogger?)
To tell the truth, the final weeks of seminary as well as caring for a new baby have been quite a plate full--but I guess there's always going to be something. I don't think I'm the only person in the world who faces this kind of pull--the desire to be creative and intentional, but the hesitancy to sit down in front of a computer screen or a sketch pad and feel that light empty feeling inside my head. It's kind of like a helium balloon--the meaningful thoughts feel lighter than air, and they just rise right above my consciousness. Usually the remedy is to go to the couch, turn on the tube, and feel the empty space with CNN or music videos or the Discovery channel. (By the way, has anyone noticed that TLC, Discovery, etc. have lost some of the weight? I used to be able to turn on the Discovery channel and actually be inspired by some program about ancient civilizations, architecture, or something like that, but these days all they seem to have is home fix ups and men fixing motorcycles, and wedding stories. What a drag) Anywhoo. My cat craves attention, and is currently lounging on the left side of my keyboard on top of my fingers so at least she can simulate a good ear rubbing, I've got student loan consolidation crap all over the coffee table, and a laundry basket full of clutter that we just wanted to get out of our eyesight sitting in the corner waiting to be sorted out. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
These days while Wesley is so young are full of little inspirations, but when it comes to recording them, something else comes up. My patience is worn thin and sometimes I snap at Lara when I don't really want to. I see why parenthood is considered challenging. I have some guilt as these words come off the keyboard and onto the screen b/c it might seem to the reader that I resent my fortune of being a parent, which is not the case at all. I just resent there only being 24 hours in a day. I was only doing marginally well when those 24 hours were all mine, but now quite a few of them belong to my son. Its not that I would rather be doing something else with my time when I'm laying with him under his little jungle gym thing or rocking with him in the rocking chair, or even trying to calm him down from a big crying spell. Every second is a treasure. It is simply that I wish there was more time for things like blogging, writing, painting, and reading. I am disappointed with myself that I more quickly turn to mind filling stuff like TV rather than mind expressing stuff like creativity. Perhaps this little post has been something "heart expressing" though, and to tell you the truth it feels a little better now.
thanks for listening

Wesley and I took mom to a nice little French place for mother's day dinner. Obviously it was a late dinner.

Jivin, poppin' a collar, and cracking a killer smile. That's my boy.